I was just thinking about this year’s valentine’s day and how much I enjoyed it. Celebrating this special day has evolved over the years and so have I. Like most people in a committed relationship, we want our love to grow along with everything; sexlife, success, and more family. So even though I am not particular about Vdays, I was pondering what love has been like on “non-holidays”.  There are so many days when we have shared overwhelming love for each other from just a moment together. For example, the other night he brought home a chocolate covered cake for me from Lila’s, a new bakery in bonapriso that I wanted to check out. I’ll say just the gesture itself opened me up and I spilled my love to him as I enjoyed the cake. The moment was just perfect, listening to music, eating the deliciously sweet cake and going deeper into our conversation. Later, I felt so thoroughly massaged inside that I slept off instantly. I woke up the next day certain I can choose that version of closeness over even sex. In terms of feeling, a moment  like that to me is way stronger, way deeper than sex.

So what if sex was taken out? No problem, because I believe that love is a feeling and there are many other things that bring us a shared feeling of love for each other. We focus on the things that unify us with the same intensity. That feeling of not wanting to be with anyone else, of following our own hearts each day. Communication is key. The conversations in which we undress each other and express our undying love are most exciting and satisfying. We learn through communication, how to make each other happy and build our presence in each other’s mind and heart. We give each other our full love in a moment like that and it is instantly reciprocated. To put it in the words of my friend, instant gratification.

Loving on family also gives us ways to celebrate our love without even thinking of sex. We spend a lot of  time together with our daughter and we both pour our love on her. Her joy & happiness makes our own love grow so it is easy to make family time a priority. Getting more time for family activities is worth the sacrifice. Going for a stroll, to a playground or to the beach gives us quality time to nurture our love. Making life better, however we can. And especially, we follow our own destiny along side each other. Only on our own individual paths have we revealed the uniqueness we each have, that which we love.

If love is a place though, I see that place where everyone understands what love is, and what beauty is, and they all strive to make it happen in their own lives. Everyone doing and giving their best every day, having more reasons to celebrate life. Their love is seen and felt accross the world. They have built strong pillars of that love in their families first, in their infrastuctures, lifestyles all over their country.  ♥ U.A.E. much? Hihihi.

To conclude, I say nourish the love within and it will shine. This is nothing new but I think it is important to always stay true to yourself in any love. With or without sex, love will always exist but your experience of it goes only as far as your faith in love, not sex. Love yourself truly and that love is reflected back to you. I  believe that love is its own motivation. The right love inspires the right action. We don’t have to be different or change who we are to have that motivation. Once you got it, it is forever. What’s sex got to do with it? Nothing much. Live, Love, Laugh. Enjoy.

Adeline Azah Ntoh

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